31 March 2009


19 years old. i dyed my head red,( hair, i meant my hair red).


Sar said...

Hi Alice,
I found it interesting that one of the things you remember from the photo is what weight you were then. Whenever I look at photo's from the last 12 or so years, I pretty much know exactly what weight or size clothes I was wearing but find it hard to remember other detail, like if I was having fun... I've even erased photo's off our file on the pc that i'm ashamed of due to the way I believe I look on them, some with other family members on and it hurts me to do this. Other people laugh at their 'mad hair frizzy perm' or 'crazy dress' they were wearing on the pics
but I just zone in on size and judge myself based on that. And same as you, I believe that in photo's where I was still normal/ just below normal weight, I was desperatly unhappy with my body at the actual time.Not how it should be- sad but true, I think. Take care hon. Xx

alice said...

hi sar

there are alot of occasions over the years where i can pinpoint the exact weight,down to the month and year. i also have ripped up a few pictures,i feel bad, but not as bad as when i look at them!
i dont know whether you read http://ed-bites.blogspot.com
its more of a scentific approach to eds. the author is a sufferer and also a science writer, which makes for good reading.

i dont think its impossible to overcome this disordered way of thinking after so many years. but i do think it will silently stay in the background.

Robert said...

There's nothing wrong with the ratio of your face size to your body. You're still looking goo, if just a tad on the thin side...

Best wishes from tubby...

alice said...

hi robert.

i think habits manifest themselves, and they are difficult to kick. im glad you said i look thin, not from a it makes me happy kind of way. but stating the truth. you wouldnt believe alot of people think that being this size is quite normal, something to look up to, really.

i need the honest comments,a balanced view. thank you.