17 June 2011

two years ago.......

two years and a bit ago i came home from hospital. i couldnt sit up for more than ten minutes at a time, somehow for five months i lay in bed unable to do much at all. i had structure to the day. i would have breakfast in the morning,rest, lunch,rest, evening time came i was able to wash myself in bed, than a while later dinner. i couldnt have the t.v or radio on, a few months in i was able to use the internet for a bit. went out for appointments, had to ring ahead so they could arrange somewhere for me to lie down. then came the car trips, with my feet up on the dash board, chair reclinded on pillow (which i still do most of the time now).

i didnt know what lay ahead. took a day at a time, an hour at a time. the doctors were optomistic, they informed me if the cause for POTS could be found and treated then i may live a life without it.

then i was diagnosed with ehlers danlos. bittersweet. they found the cause, however both conditions could only be treated with medication and not cured.

more hospital appointments later, more than i care to mention, im here. stuck with this damn illness. trapped in this body, that wont get better anytime soon.

tomorrow morning (yep i know two days late) im attempting to travel a few miles, ok a good few miles. i dont know whether or not i will make it. will my body hold up? i dont know. if i dont go then what? what have i got to look forward too? a decrepid body that dictates to me what it wants.

keep your fingers crossed for me people. please. xxxxxx


Achelois said...

oh em em em, dear em, of course I will keep my bendy fingers crossed, which will work as they are double crossed so double the luck for you.

I too am battling away with this cruel cruel condition, with the whole lack of being able to plan anything properly. Sometimes I secretly wish that I had something more well known that people understood.

I am thinking of you and understand everything you say in your post so well. I know that doesn't help you really on an everday basis but I do understand really I do em and am thinking of you.

ZKiwi said...

Em, I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!! I reeeaaally reeeaaally reeeeaaally hope you have some great times during your trip. I completely understand how you have no idea what might happen, but sometimes for the sake of your sanity, you've just got to throw caution to the wind. I hope it ends up to be a case of 'same old same old' while you're on holiday, and not a health crash or anything. 'Same old same old' (health-wise) is still more fun in new surroundings! :-D

Lots of love and best wishes xxxxx

diver said...

Fingers crossed for you Em. Bon Voyage :)