woke to a lovely sunny day. i dont mind the rain really, when the sun peeps through the clouds, and the warmth touches my face it feels lovely.
went christmas shopping today. this year thats consists of, writing a list, driving to an out of town shopping park, sitting in the car, and letting someone else get the goods. im too stubborn to sit in a wheelchair. i can walk around 30 seconds, then need to sit down. thats been since july. bought some stuff on-line.
this summer i spent twenty weeks completing an eating disorders course. i had what the doctors thought was labyrinthitis last year, and due to the nausea i lost a bit of weight, i was skinny anyway. it was at the course the clinician said i may have m.e. we dealt alot with anxiety on the course . im trying now to implement some of the techniques they gave me, because they are small changes i can do them at home. i dislike change, so these are the things they told me to do;
1. buy a different newspaper each day (easy)
2. wear nail vanish, if you dont.( this feels weird on,)
3.part you hair on a different side ( nope)
4.eat a different food (mmm!)
5.treat yourself each week to something inexpensive ( difficult)
6.go a different route when your out.( does my brain in)
7. listen to different music, watch a film you wouldnt usually watch( difficult im so intolerent)
8.buy someone else a gift ( easy)
9. talk about something uncomfortable ( awkward)
10.buy clothes you wouldnt usually buy( really awkward)
you have to do these things day in, day out. and your thought processes will change. there were other things to do to. i have done some of them. then i think, when can i stop and get back to normal? yet thats not the point. i can understand why these tasks are set. my mind is very rigid in thought, they done other tests there that were interesting and explained alot about my thought processes and my anxiety.
i thought that now not being able to do much until my physical health is sorted out, then i can do some of these smaller tasks, and hopefully they will help me in the future. i just tend to fixate on detail, ( which is common with someone with an ed). i have always done this. maybe this will help.