21 September 2010

out of salts.....

i make plans in my head of late and dont carry them through. how mundane is this, i planned to wash the wardrobe out and replace my summer clothes with winter ones. not such a big task removed some v.tops, to introduce a few knitted scarfs, ive been putting this off for a while. i have no oomph.

i have more appts then i can manage, yet another trip to central london next week to st barts. luckily i know where it is as i worked just round the corner at lincolns inn many years ago.

rosies being a moo, not doing as shes told, yet the sweet face that stares back into my eyes tells me not to control her, just be.

suffering with high blood pressure,low pulse tonight, will probably,hopefully be different tomorrow morning.

had a lovely conversation with an american lady at cp, she was from new jersey, i could of just sat and listened to her voice, she had a dog too.

been reading everyones blogs, each day, just to oomph-less to comment, sorry.x

stitches are to be removed on thursday,yippee.

taking each day as it comes right now, no positive bullshit, if i want to feel miserable then so be it, or should i plaster the shiny smile on? no.

life is tough at times.xxxxx


diver said...

Hi Em, I'm the same at the moment, flat as a tack. All the best sweetie. I know you've heaps worse crap than me to contend with and I hope things pick up for you real soon.

Rusty Hoe said...

Fake shiny smiles suck. The effort is to make others happy, not yourself. Sorry it's still a crapfest, I can relate only too well. Sometimes the shittiness is just warranted and you have to ride the wave until it passes. I do hope things pick up for you soon. Hugs, Michelle

Nechtan said...

Hi Em,

Not surprising really that you have lost your oomph given the rally of appointments you had. Would be nice for you to get a bit of respite. Like you said there is no point on putting on a mask when you are down. Just hope you get something to get you back on the up soon.

Take care


Ellen said...

I love that comment 'Should I plaster a shiny smile on?' :-)

There's always the pressure to put on a happy face, but why do we have to? You have every right to make any kind of face you want. So much to contend with every day.

Hoping it gets better for you real soon.

Em said...

hi diver

hope your ok. im sure i will be fine, (mmmmm), things will improve and all that. hope your dealing with things ok, tough time for us all. x

hi michelle

we are all going through the mill at the moment. good luck with your op, seeing a bowel doc next week,oh the joys. at least my stitches are coming out today, yippee, something to look forward too.xx

hi nechtan

seems another round of appts are upon me. at least the sun is out today shining its best shine. sometimes i suppose life is like this to us all, its how we deal with it. i think i need some more humour to get through this. laughing helps at times to get through the madness of this all. xx

hi ellen

ive certainly learned through this illness to be abit more open, if i feel crap then so be it. good luck with the move. x