22 December 2010


when i was attending the eating disorders course, the clinician informed me there was more evidence now that undereating was biochemical. a set way of patterns that were going to be tipped off sometime in your life with a stressor.

what about anxiety? why dont us anxious types turn to drink,drugs, or a different sort of behaviour to cope with. why anxiety? why us? maybe we are programmed in our brain to set this little part off when something or lots of somethings happen.

this was planned and was going to happen anyway. because i find alot of us anxious types arent lacking in ambition, we dont just sit around doing bugger all and waiting for things to come to us. we try,try,try. we get bloody annoyed at ourselves for not being able to better ourselves. this is mighty angry making.

if drugs dont work, if self-help dont work, trying doesnt help, what will?

when i read others blogs i feel their frustration. there self-anger. arghhhhhh this makes me so annoyed.

next year i have psychodynamic therapy, will this work? i know i have the odds stacked against me, what with the ehlers,pots,all the crappy stuff in life.

i cross my fingers for you all out there, i know what your going through and feeling.


Coffeecup said...

Typically sweet of you to think of others beautiful girl! xxx

agoraphob said...

I needed this post today, so thank you. I am sitting here beating myself up for not being able to get on my flight. I took meds, they didnt work, I tried my hardest, didnt work. What else am I supposed to do?

I hope the psychodynamic therapy helps.

Em said...

hi cc

bit of a rant im afraid, i just get so frustrated at the lack of progress we all make when we try so hard. thanks x

Em said...

hi shelly

aw im so sorry, this is what gets to me the most. reading your blog you go beyond trying and the payback is? arghhhhhh. dont bet yourself up, although we all know thats what we do best.

if i take anything helpful away from the psychodynamic sessions i will be sure to share. x

diver said...

Nice one Em, sweetly posted and full of interesting ideas too, for example this idea that anxiety is like a 'biochemical button' waiting to be set off when a particular stressor (or compound of stressors) happen. Fascinating.

I suppose you could take this idea a step further and wonder if these biochemical buttons are also a 'fateful' thing, like a trigger that was meant to be pressed at some stage in our lives for some greater cosmic or karmic purpose. An explanation like that wouldn't much appeal to control freaks of course, only to more gracious types who believe that 'everything happens for a reason' ;)

Goodonya for giving the psychodynamic approach a try. I'd sure enjoy reading any future reports you have about this particular adventure :)

Em said...

hi diver

i just get fed up with this barmy life. i read some, listen then try to understand, which with a foggy head is sometimes hard and frustrating. it would make sense though, comparing people who take drugs, drink etc, more to do with how our brain is programmed, much like the body. i dont know.

i like the way you see things as an adventure i must remember that instead of seeing it as another try.

fate, i like looking at fate when things seem lovely and rosy, coincidences and all, when things are going dodgy i dont seem to have that view!!! as contridictory as ever!.x