today was a good day, and a bad day.
my dad offered to take me out for a push! so on the way, i cant breathe, my m.e symptoms are bad. i say out loud that i cant breathe, something that i have been learning to do. i spent so many years with anxiety, hiding any trace, so no one knew, or could tell i was anxious.
after a while, after i smelled my vics vapour rub, which strangly helps. we carried on. a couple of more times this happened, and i did the same thing. said out loud i couldnt breathe, and smelled the vic. it eased. now im confused, is it anxiety? or m.e? my pulse was 64.
anxious getting out of the car, again said that if i need to go home then i need to go. dad walked for around 30 minutes or more, and then we sat in the cafe and i drank 2 cammomile teas. which i didnt think i would manage, so i asked for take a way in case i had to go, something else which im getting used to doing. it was good sitting in the sun, outside.
ive also noticed over the past few months im getting nervous sitting inside places. claustrophobia. something ive overcome in the past a little. i know im avoiding the insides of places, i just cant help myself at the moment.
the bad day, i got upset at my situation. everything felt pointless. hopeless. if/when i overcome m.e, ive still got the battle with anxiety. when will it all end? feel a little on edge.