27 July 2009

bizarre dreams

sitting up in bed nearly 10pm feeling pretty, urgh. the weekend went well. i was as much myself as possible. i didnt strive to be a competent, able person. just me, at the moment was enough. it was nice to see my aunt. i think she enjoyed herself. in the evenings she sat in my room, one time it got quite crowded with my mum,sister,niece,aunt and me. i thought maybe i would get overwhelmed, as i would of a few years back. i didnt. i tried not to think about what if i did. and if i did i would of had to say i wanted some rest, which i was well prepared to do.

i know one night i felt a little out of breath. so i just lay there, trying not to focus on it. then when it passed i joined back in the conversation. it was a little tiring as we stopped speaking around 12 midnight. but overall an enjoyable weekend.

however, last night i had a troubling dream it went something like this.......

i was on a bus, and it was driving past my house, which i thought was odd as we dont live on a bus route. as the bus approached my house, there were men in the front garden with white overalls on. against the wall propped a yellow board. i knew someone had been killed in the house. i rung the bell on the bus and asked the driver to stop, which he did and i got off. i run to the front garden, scared, and asked the men what they were doing. they said someone had been murdered inside. i went in, apprehensive, but needing to know what was going on. the outside of the house and the garden was the same, yet the inside had a completely different layout, with different decoration. i ran upstairs into my bedroom, and the walls had been stripped bare, no carpet, no furniture. there was a man in a white overall, i said what had happened? he said a prostitute had been murdered in the room, look, and he pointed to blood splattered up the walls. then i heard kids outside, i went to the window and there was some boys on bike looking up at the window. i went downstairs and the house was crawling with police, they were looking for the knife.

when i woke this morning, i remembered past this point, yet now thats gone.

any point to this bizarre dream?


Nechtan said...

Hi Alicem

I'm glad your weekend went so well. Having all those people in one room would have been enough to send me off. It sounds like you have found some comfort with your situation which really helps. And so good too that you didn't let the bout of breathlessness snowball out of control as we know how easy that can happen.

All the best


Coffeecup said...

Dreams are weird aren't they? Maybe it has something to do with the recent murder you mentioned in that story got mixed in with your other subconscious thoughts? Maybe it's some kind of fear of change? The familiar turns into something sinister. Perhaps it's more personal than that? All these people crawling over your property looking for the vital piece of evidence, hmm? Could be that you're looking for a reason for the change in your health? Strange stuff indeed Alice! Spooky!

So pleased you had a good weekend with lots of company. You really came through that challenge smiling! Wonderful.

alice said...

hi nechtan

if this situation had of happened a few years back i would of been overwhelmed. i would of wanted my own space to retreat too. and i knew if i was feeling unwell i could of said i needed rest. its like people now respect me, because i have been through a physical illness. yet i felt the same with anxiety yet couldnt say things out loud. so wrong.

hi steph

i didnt think about that recent murder. the man was around my age, and i had thought about it alot. when i go out, we drive past where he was shot down. now that was a pleasant spot in a large field, now its covered with flowers, so a constant reminder. i think the dream is personal somehow. the stripped walls, and no furniture, and like you say searching for the missing piece,( the knife), life is bizarre and so are our dreams. thanks. x