14 July 2009

sussed

still got the little dogs. both asleep on the bed. managed to get out again in the garden. i slathered some sun cream on, and for half an hour sat in the sun. i felt so warm. my head was in the shade, so i was okay.

may try another trip out tomorrow. a little further this time. im getting a little scared at the appointment time. im trying not to thing about it right now. but i know the test that i have will show up any more problems. which i know is good because they can treat the symptoms some more. im just hoping that with putting on weight that some of the symptoms will ease off.


the first time in ten years my weight has been heading for 9 stone. when it gets there im going to try to keep it at that weight, and try to eat a little more healthly. ive been improving my weight by eating biscuits, something that i dont want to continue to do. and chocolate. i was so scared, i put my mind to this challenge and have achieved it, ( well nearly). and i thought with all the time in bed, thinking of things i would feel generally uncomfortable, but i dont. i do some, but not as much as i thought i would. if only i could transmit this no-nonsense approach to my anxiety then my life would be sussed.

2 comments:

diver said...

Hi Alice. Try to 'think positive' about those medical appointments. I can't really imagine what it's like but I'd guess that having POTS hanging over you like this must bring you a whole lot of anxiety all of its own. Investigation and hopefully further treatment will ease that (we can only hope) so in many ways those doctor appointments are things to be welcomed as much as feared.

alice said...

hi diver

i think anxiety will come with pots as it affects the autonomic nervous system. and indeed when i was as my worse anxiety dogged me each and every day. however now im on the tablets and i know what it is, im nowhere as near an anxious as i was. but of course it still plays apart.

im trying to remain positive, and any more medication that would help would be welcomed too, although i was so anti tablets.
x