15 October 2009

biccies and pills

its just gone 9pm, the t.v is on mute. im typing. drinking tea, and just about to take my meds, first i must eat a biccie, i have a choice, either digestive or hob-nob, mmmm wonder what i shall have tonight choices, choices. digestive i think.

sweet papa, turned up with a huge cath kidston bag for me. inside was a pair of soft pjs, a pretty key ring( i need one of those, i truly do its better than my old tatty one), three coat hangers ( which i asked for) and a bath mit. now im getting worried. i asked him whilst he was in the kings road, chelsea to pop in to get me the coat hangers, dont ask, he turns up with other goodies. what you need to know is when we were children we never got presents unless it was our birthday or christmas present. ( plus on holiday we were allowed to choose paper and pens). and that way still stands today. do they know something that i dont? giving me the heebie geebies.

seriously though, i feel bad with being so ill. the stress shows a little with them, when they tell me how worried they were when i was in hospital in may. i know that i say that im better than i am. yet when im falling, i cant show much else than this.

never mind the consultant appointment is in a fortnight, so i will know for sure whats wrong, all the tests should be back by then. i have a lovely one next week to go to, gold rings on the lower inner eye lid to test the electrical current to my brain. one to look forward to.

sorry about my spellings, grammar. when im better i will be able to concentrate more. oh the same with repeating myself, my mind is a blank and i may say the same things everyday!!!. so you might now want to read tomorrow, because youve already read it.


Coffeecup said...

Hob Nob or Digestive? Have both! Personally it'd be the Hob Nob for me, even better if they're the ones with choccy on the top.

How lovely of your Dad to buy you the Cath Kidston goodies. I don't believe there's any reason to be concerned over this gesture. There's a big difference between a parent being wary of spoiling their children and a caring father wanting to show his adult daugther he loves her with gifts. The grown up child doesn't demand as the child would, it's just not the same at all. I'm a bit jealous though, my Dad has been agoraphobic my whole life. If he went into an actual shop and bought me something I'd probably die of shock.

Best of luck with the tests. Having so much experience now of these procedures (crikey!) I hope you're not quite so anxious about it. Nothing horrid has happened so far and I know you can do it. Fingers crossed the final prognosis is good, and something easily treatable so you can feel better quickly.

Warm hugs, xxx

Robert said...

I wish my dad would stop by with goodies for me.

Actually, it would be enough if he just stopped by ('cos it would be a miracle 'cos he's dead. And I miss him).

Good luck with the tests.

You might not want to read this, because I might make the same comment to the post you're going to write tomorrow which is the same as today's...

diver said...

O Alice, you're sounding sad, confused and scared today :( I'm sure mum and dad don't know anything you don't know. Remember, your doctors report to you, not them, it's their legal and ethical obligation. Rest assured, there's surely nothing going on behind your back!

Your dad sounds wonderful. I'm a dad with grown daughters and find I have to restrain myself from showering them with goodies from time to time ... it's just a dad thing : our daughters are our princesses and we'd do anything for them, sometimes unbidden. Your dad is probably just so worried about and frustrated with your illness that he's decided to try and love you back to health any way he can. I'm sure his gifting will do you no harm ;-)

I'm so sorry the medical system has it's hooks into you like they do at the moment. You must feel like a right slab of meat or lab rat sometimes. It can be very de-humanising. It's just a passing phase though, remember that. It will pass!

I'm with CoffeeCup : fingers crossed for a solid prognosis and one that's easily treatable!

Anonymous said...

Hi Alice,

As a dad I can't think of anything worse than seeing one of my children having problems. I can imagine your parents feel a bit helpless and just want you to be well. That was a great gesture by your dad. He probably doesn't realise just what an effect that can have.

I hope all goes well with the tests.

All the best


alice said...

hi steph

we still dont tend to show our appreciation with gifts. strange isnt it? thats why i think i was so suspicious. never mind.

i will be crossing my fingers. the 28 oct will be judgement day. then i will know if all the effort of attending these appointments have paid off. thanks.xxx


hi robert

i think my mind is in overdrive. i have lots of time to think. thanks for the luck i need it. and hopefully i wont post the same today, though you dont know with me.xxx


hi diver

i try to remember that phrase in times of need, 'this too shall pass'. really helps if i repeat it enough.

its nices having others opinions sometimes being so cut off from things i can dwell. and i dont like to worry others. xxx


hi nechtan

i can imagine what that must be like not being able to do anything but watch someone suffer. i really dont know what i would do if it was the other way round. i wouldnt be coping at all. thanks.xxx

Achelois said...

I think everyone has said it all really. Stop worrying about the grammar n all that - i have. Well sort of i occassionally say I am literate but my fingers don't comply!

Kath kitson - I am jealous.

hang on in there - remember to do fun stuff if able into between all the medical tests. I was having loads of tests a couple of years ago and had to have a break in the end from it all as felt like a medical merrygoround. It will be worth it though as eventually you will feel better - I just know you will.

Hope tomorrow is a good one.

alice said...

hi achelois

thanks. ive been prodded, needled, spoke to like im mad! you name it, these past few months seems like its never going to end.

todays not been bad, at least i got out, then back to bed!