this afternoon im off to see an occupational therapist. ive no idea what to expect, a ten mile trek across croydon to sutton hosptial. luckily the hospital has a country feel to it not some big impersonal building. im wondering what will happen.
little bit of anticipatory anxiety going on. im trying to ignore this, cuddling up to rosie, i have no choice as shes flopped across my stomach whilst im trying to type. have a little headache which i hope will ease. its snowing outside.
got three hours to go. i think the tabs help. the first time in my life ive been on regular medication. if i wasnt feeling so bad last year in hospital i wouldnt of taken them. however they gave me the beta blockers to slow the heart rate down on standing, not a big dose. but ive read that people with anxiety take them. also on a tiny dose of paroxetine which was to try and even out my autonomic system again for the p.o.t.s, im wondering if these are helping with the anxiety.
ive been a big sufferer from anxiety for as long as i can remember, whether its been caused by the p.o.t.s, or as achelois suggested hypermobility. im finding before appointments i have the same old sweateness, the 'i dont want to go', but im finding some appointments easier than others. i mean i tolerated an mri scan, yep i had anxiety but i got through it, and i was on these combination of meds at the time.
will see how things go this afternoon, wish little rosie could come with me.