30 March 2010

heavy chested sadness

i seem to have a cold coming. running nose, the least of my worries, however pots seems to turn it into a drama with heavy chest, temperature fluctuations and ennui.

last night i had a take-out. mmmm, the second in one year. chinese. not a good choice. i was awake with msg indigestion. tiredness all over.

rosebud has kept me company as usual. i seem also to becoming a bit slap dash. i have trouble arranging words, i like pictures more, easier to make the connections then words. i havent the energy or inclination to do anything that requires amounts of thought.

i blocked my top, the one i was knitting, im sure i will post about it. also purchased a mirror for my charleston tapestry frame, unsure how the article will come together, brain work needed.

the rain came down here today, then the sun, then rain.

when i first started the blog i didnt know what to do, shall i blog about my unwellness, at the time i didnt know what was wrong with me. shall i blog about knitting, stitching, anxiety, places visited, a whole mixture of things. so i choose to write about the lot. im not just about one thing, i hope i dont confuse anyone.

now i have to wash my hair, the energy it will take i may leave it till tomorrow.


Coffeecup said...

Of course you don't confuse! Life is a rich patchwork full of all kinds of little bits n'pieces. It's all interesting :)

I know what you mean about feeling kinda disinterested, not quite depressed, but definitely not enthusiastic about much either. Just 'to be' seems enough to be getting on with. I feel calm, then mad panic, then calm, hmm...there's something familiar about all this.

PS. I wish I'd been there when you cleared out your books Em to see what I could scrounge. Seems like you had a good day there sorting through them.

Keep going sweetie, you know how this goes, good n'bad in no particular order. Take care of yourself xxx

Achelois said...

oh poor you em.

thought I should comment on your request for tips regarding the Professor. i worried a little about what to put then remembered I do not go by my real name so it does not matter!

Firstly remember he is old nothing wrong in that but sometimes what he writes in letters to gp's can veer off course from what appeared to happen in the consultation.

He is not keen on pain relief in the form of opiods/strong pain relief but many of us with EDS/HMS do differ in this aspect in the management of our condition and its ok, just let him have his say on that one.

He is very knowledgeable about the condition but if busy can sometimes be a little brusque without intending to be. On the whole he is kind and understanding. He is not keen on wheelchair use but stick to your guns and explain its because of the POTS otherwise you may hurt yourself falling down and that you have been offered no therapy to make a difference. He will probably be able to tell whether you have EDS/HMS from your medical history and brief examination. If you have questions or would like referrals take a list of questions etc. It may help you to write down your medical history in bullet points if you get muddled to assist. If you are seeing him privately then I am sure you will get plenty of time. Check when you sign in at UCHL that you are in fact seeing him and if not him who you are seeing.

Not sure I have been very helpful but I discharged myself from him years ago due to the difficulty with distance and any treatment. My daughter is still a patient but in reality unless you live near London its difficult to benefit from actual services offered by the HMS/EDS clinic. If diagnosed it will be helpful for your future treatment and also ask what specific help he thinks would benefit you. Apart from that GOOD LUCK. I don't feel I have been that helpful Em but my intentions are good I promise. xoxoxoxox

Achelois said...

ps I think its important to stress that before you were ill you were not really a very stressed or panicy person and that you feel most of this is due to the POTS.


diver said...

Not confusing Em. It's all been good ... and a pleasure getting to know you :)

Nechtan said...

Hi Em,

Colds are aplenty at the moment. Hopefully this will be compensated with some decent weather this summer.

Your blog has been very varied. Unwellness though is what binds a of us so its bound to be a major subject matter so don't worry about that- here is me giving out advice again that I don't take myself. I've also been battling lately with what to post and what not to. I think probably everyone of us should post for ourselves first and foremost. That is after all what brought readers in the first place.

Sorry to hear you are feeling under the weather. Hope things pick up soon.

All the best


Em said...

hi cc

thats good i wonder if things got as jumbled as my head on here.

i think the book culling, has made me want to have a full clear out. so over the next few weeks im going to, energy permitting, have a throw out. ive already sorted through a few things. i have a technique instead of just dumping (and by that i mean giving to charity or the tip if things are too far gone) i keep things if im attached to them, then a few weeks later i seem to not want them and allow myself to give them away. seems to work, i dont have that, i cant possibly throw that out kind of reaction.

i would of let your scrounge till your hearts content!. maybe on the next cull eh? thanks xxx


hi achelois

thanks for the tips and advice. im seeing him privately, so hopefully there will be more time. will do the bullet point idea, and a short family history, because i just know that it will disappear from my head when i go in. fingers crossed everything will be ok. thanks again.xxxx


hi diver

loved your pieces of silver by the way. thanks i just sit here sometimes thinking as im confused perhaps others are with my writing. xx


hi nechtan

its true our problems have made us all relate to one another, at times i think others maybe confused with my writing, but probably its in my head, but please do tell if you are. the weather here is cold at present always makes me feel worse when it comes on so quickly. i need to acclimatise more slowly. x cant wait till the proper spring weather comes. xx