8 January 2011

all done and dusted

thank goodness.

i arrived in a floppy state, tired, weak, exhausted really. poor mum she was more nervous than i. we arrived 15 minutes early, i sat and waited, was called into a small office, then went over my health problems. i was asked did i want sedation or not? on the letter the dr requested sedation, im not a big fan, not that ive ever had it before, i just thought having it would prolong the recovery process. usually i would of just agreed because the dr had asked for it. pretty proud of myself in a foggy state of mind i asked could i try without, then if i couldnt tolerate, then i would have it.

i was wheeled round to the recovery room, arghhh. no-one with me, on my lonesome. i have to admit this was the worse part! a few ladies were reclining on their beds after just having the procedures, worse case scenario for me. i just shut my eyes with tiredness until a little nurse asked me to undress, provided a gown. i didnt seem my usual anxious self, funny really, no panic attacks which i thought would of happened.

i was then wheeled round on the bed, into a small room. was told i could look at the television screen of my bowel! should i dare? mmmmmm. i admit the procedure was a little painful, i had a few ouches, which is unlike me to show my displeasure out loud, although not to loud. looked at the screen, then looked away i really didnt want to see. gas was pumped into me which was painful too, but tolerable. then it was over.

thank goodness i didnt have sedation. when i was wheeled out back to recovery, i promptly asked if i could use the loo, i would get dressed first i told the polite little nurse. that way i thought i could escape afterwards. there a lady opposite who had an oxygen mask on, another on had to have an injection to wake her up, anothers blood pressure had dropped low and had to be brought back in. and a lady at my side, a very tough lady with a number of very pretty coloured tattoos said to the nurse she was very nervous about having the procedure that i had just had.

dressed, been to the loo, i asked if i could be wheeled to the room with biscuits and tea, the room before you can go home. i was told yes!!!! was given a milky cup of tea, which i drank with pleasure and a packet of three bourbons which a chomped on. really unlike me because when im suffering with anxiety i cant eat, being on my own would also send me crazy with nerves. 10 minutes later i got my reports and was on my way home. thank you,thank you,thank you. im pretty sure my nan helped me up there in the sky beyond.

on the way home, went into marks&sparks, got a big cuppa, and some salty crisps. i had craved crisps the whole day.

as usual, or sometimes not so usual,(you can never tell with anxiety) it went fine.

have a skin tag. and the dr thinks a slow emptying bowel, which didnt surprise me as the prof thinks that too.


Coffeecup said...

Well done Em!!! Glad it's all over! :)

From what you'd said I'd assumed you had to have a general anaesthetic. Good thing then this wasn't the case.

I don't know how you calmly managed to go through that. You're awesome!!

x x x

Nechtan said...

Hi Em,

Take care of yourself. Well done for getting through that and with no sedation. I hope seeing the other ladies in their various states was empowering and illustrates again just how strong you have become.

When I'm anxious I cannot eat either so a good sign that you were up for tea and biscuits. Glad its over with and hope you can get some rest now.

All the best


Achelois said...

Em, I hope you are justifiably proud of yourself.

I am glad the ordeal is over. I should go and have the bowel conversation but as ever I don't but I should. I haven't seen the good old prof in years. Others seem to have better conversations with him I think that is me.... I know I have a slow emptying bowel in fact I know I have loads of EDS related stuff without the tests and all the milarky. its just I don't do anything about it all!

For some reason I have a thought in my head where I wonder about panic and anxiety and an empty bowel or not as the case may be. Whether in the taking of the little sachets and the resulting hours spent on the loo. Then none of the panic etc at the hospital that you had expected whether there is some bizarre link. A friend of mine who used to work at a hospital would always mention that depending on the inpatients behaviour they would look at their charts for bowel movements there being a recognised link!! Anyway that is my random meaningless thought for the day.

I am pleased all the anticipatory anxiety is over and the actual procedure is in the past.

I hope you manage to put on some weight. People generally don't get that it is actually distressing to need to put on weight.

I hope the rest of the week is a good one.s

magic said...

wow im so glad it went ok, you were so brave. hope you continue to improve.mmm boubons xx

Em said...

hi steph

knocked out/sedated all the same to me, having no CONTROL. what we fear the most. thanks for your encouragement. i think this was the worse test to date on a scale. quite painful, but its over with. im feeling quite unwell now though. thanks.x

Em said...

hi nechtan

im not the only one that cant eat when im anxious then! i kind of took the biscuits and ate and tried not to think about it, and sipped the tea first. i really need it because it perked me up. i tend to overthink situations, maybe as we all do, i need to just do instead of think more. thanks.x

Em said...

hi achelois

i do think we kind of know whats wrong. im getting to the stage where i really dont want tests, because i know whats wrong.

i certainly feel worse when the bowels are playing up, really unwell and drained, like at present. think i was a bit whoppy-do on adrenaline, just so pleased i got through it and it was over. now im just soooo tired, and in pain down there. the weight thing for me is such an issue. x

Em said...

hi magic

so pleased is done. although i have three more to go in january!

hope your ok.x