thinking today people play a big part in my anxiety. im not blaming, just a fact. or really i should mention its how ive been taught to perceive people. how the parents/family teach us how the world is, our place in it and all that.
we think that others will respond to us how our parents do. good or bad. we are surrounded each day with decisions that need to be made. big or small. how we present our personalities onto the world/outsiders will determine how we are treated, whether we like it or not.
embarrassment plays a big part in anxiety. when im occupied whilst out i dont notice peoples responses why should i? yet when ive nothing to do, when physically i feel drained,tired,on edge anxiety seems to keep me company.
negative inputs from family, resonates throughout the years. the emotional mind takes over, silently drifting into automatic behaviour. whereas the rational mind, forever there shouts loudly at our inability to cope with a normal situation.
emotions, however stuffed down, drunk out, angered, drugged, wont disappear. all the time we dont deal,avoid pulling out the thorn, i think the continued behaviour will continue.
we can all see that an alcoholic is relying drink, to cover up other problems. so why cant i see as an individual see that my reliance on anxiety is similar? all the time i keep holding hands with anxiety i will be the same old dependant, sorry me.